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		<title data-react-helmet="true">The Hidden Horrors of Hurricane Harvey | Psyche</title>
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itemtype="https://schema.org/ImageObject" data-reactid="51"><meta itemprop="url" content="http://res.cloudinary.com/dpbno0uxz/image/upload/v1457580234/favicon_tisb74.png" data-reactid="52"/><meta itemprop="height" content="128" data-reactid="53"/><meta itemprop="width" content="128" data-reactid="54"/></div></div><header class="container_1u9w7u6-o_O-large_qwfq55 header_13hv8io" data-reactid="55"><div class="container_1u9w7u6-o_O-medium_t9xjph-o_O-gutter_1ixr1j0 headerInner_lisbgl" data-reactid="56"><h1 class="title_ijrba7" data-reactid="57">The Hidden Horrors of Hurricane Harvey</h1><div class="byline_187fmgh" data-reactid="58"><a class="byline__image_1ys8ixs" href="/authors/victor-trammell" data-reactid="59"><div class="avatar_wzsrik-o_O-avatar__tiny_1xizgzf" data-reactid="60"><span class="avatarIcon_1y7ph4" style="background-image:url(https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,h_64,q_auto,w_64/jgeonhjy8qlsdoykb55w);" data-reactid="61"></span></div></a><span data-reactid="62"> by </span><a class="byline__link_10qq195" href="/authors/victor-trammell" data-reactid="63"><!-- react-text: 64 -->Victor Trammell<!-- /react-text --><!-- react-text: 65 --> <!-- /react-text --></a><time datetime="2017-08-31T06:50:33+10:00" title="Aug 31, 2017 - 06:50" data-reactid="66">5 months ago</time><span data-reactid="67"><span data-reactid="68"> in </span><span data-reactid="69"><a class="byline__link_10qq195" href="/tag/humanity" data-reactid="70">humanity</a></span></span></div><h2 class="subtitle_vj04mg" data-reactid="71">How Natural Disasters and Depictions of Human Suffering Psychologically Impacts People Not Directly Affected</h2></div></header><div class="mediaWrapper_1gregod" data-reactid="72"><div class="container_wau94v-o_O-large_qwfq55" data-reactid="73"><figure class="layout_comswi" data-reactid="74"><div style="position:relative;" data-reactid="75"><div class="image__placeholder_2e4lzi" style="padding-bottom:56.54545454545455%;background-image:url(https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/c_fit,e_blur:200,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_auto,w_110/acyzx6l2az5jsu2dpuow);" data-reactid="76"></div><img alt="" class="image__source_18j84yf" height="622" width="1100" src="https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_auto,w_1100/acyzx6l2az5jsu2dpuow" srcset="https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_auto,w_512/acyzx6l2az5jsu2dpuow 512w,https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_auto,w_768/acyzx6l2az5jsu2dpuow 768w,https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_auto,w_1140/acyzx6l2az5jsu2dpuow 1140w" sizes="100vw" data-reactid="77"/></div><div data-reactid="78"><figcaption class="caption_12xeywj nested-anchors" data-reactid="79"><p>Photo credits: Kevin King | The Examiner of Southeast Texas</p></figcaption></div></figure></div></div><div data-reactid="80"></div><div class="nested-anchors" data-reactid="81"><section data-reactid="82"><div class="container_wau94v-o_O-gutter_hkb0fn-o_O-medium_t9xjph" data-reactid="83"><div class="text_pgkqfl" data-reactid="84"><p>Over the past several days, America's vast collective of national media sources have bombarded the viewing public with an overwhelming volume of reports about the travesties currently going on in Southeast Texas.</p><p>When Hurricane Harvey (Category 4) reached the U.S. mainland around August 26, 2017, the storm was producing punishing winds, which were clocked at a strength of 130 mph. According to the National Weather Service, Harvey's&nbsp;atmospheric pressure was also calculated to be 938 millibars. Once the hurricane's status was demoted to a tropical storm, Southeast Texas was pounded with torrential rainfall totals.</p><p>This caused massive flooding, which created an emergency situation in cities all along the Texas Gulf Coast, including Houston, Beaumont, Rockport, and San Augustine. Homes were ruined and residents had to leave their personal belongings behind in order to survive. Power was knocked out and people had no access to public utilities. Estimates of financial damage have reached as high as $160 billion dollars.</p><p>Disaster relief experts have said that like Hurricane Katrina, rebuilding and stabilization efforts undertaken after Harvey could take many years. Katrina was the name given to the devastating August 2005 hurricane that destroyed a number of Louisiana's Gulf Coast cities, including New Orleans. However, the human toll of any natural disaster is obviously the worst adversity. Humans are only granted one life.</p><p>Approximately 20 people have died from the wrath of Hurricane Harvey since it invaded the U.S. mainland. One of those deaths was reported by the Associated Press on August 30, 2017. In the absolutely heartbreaking literary newsreel, an 18-month-old girl was reportedly found in Beaumont, Texas cold, trembling, and clinging in bewilderment to her dying mother who drowned in a flooded parking lot near an exit off U.S. Interstate 10.</p><p>Captain Brad Penisson of the Beaumont Fire and Rescue Department told the Associated Press that a witness at the scene recalled seeing the mother alive on Tuesday afternoon (August 29th). The mother retrieved her daughter from the vehicle she was driving and attempted to get to higher ground away from the flooded parking lot. However, the strong current of a flooded drainage canal whisked the mother and her tiny daughter away.<br></p><p>The helpless tot was seen hanging on to her lifeless, floating mother when police and fire rescue workers approached her in a boat. The girl was picked up and held as first responders&nbsp;on the boat attempted to revive the mother. The boat then sailed safely to higher ground where resuscitation efforts on the mother continued. Attempts to save her life had failed and the mother was soon pronounced dead.</p><p>The terrified 18-month-old girl survived and was transported to a local hospital where her condition was stabilized. This innocent little girl's life will never be the same. Stories like this invoke feelings of despair for other people who have been directly affected by the horrors of Hurricane Harvey. However, can people who live hundreds or thousands of miles away also become severely traumatized by the realities of any tragedy?</p><p>After the fatal June 2016 nightclub shooting that left dozens dead in Orlando, Florida, <a href="http://www.cnn.com/profiles/aj-willingham-profile">AJ Willingham</a>, a columnist for<a href="http://cnnpressroom.blogs.cnn.com/category/cnn-digital-content/cnn-digital/"> CNN Digital </a>wrote an article titled&nbsp;<i></i><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/20/health/how-to-deal-with-traumatic-news-trnd/index.html"><i>When Bad News Gets to be&nbsp;</i><span style="font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;"><i>Too Much</i></span></a><span style="font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;">. In her sobering report, Willingham wrote about the interviewee opinions that were shared with her, which came from noted psychology professionals, such as&nbsp;</span><span style="font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;">Dr. Pam Ramsden, a lecturer at the University of Bradford in the UK.</span><br></p><p>"This constant churn of harrowing news is physically and psychologically unhealthy, and you don't need to be directly involved in a tragedy to feel its effects," Willingham wrote.&nbsp;</p><p>"To the concerned viewer, this pain can feel unavoidable or even necessary. It might be a little bit of both. The truth is, in an age of unfettered access to the worst of humanity, we have to act as our own gatekeepers if we want to stay sane," she continued. Willingham describes the feelings people experience after witnessing tragic scenarios that do not directly affect them as "vicarious trauma."<span style="font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;"><br></span></p><p>Seeking professional help after experiencing such trauma is a legitimate option. However, the overwhelmingly negative stigma attached to mental illness often keeps people from dealing reasonably with life situations that wreak havoc on their psychological stability. "With some of these individuals requiring professional help, I doubt they will get it," Dr. Ramsden told CNN.</p><p>"Because how do you go to a mental health provider and tell them that YouTube videos have left you traumatized so that you can't sleep and have nightmares?" she continued.<br></p><p>In a new and emerging world of information overload, man-made despair, and tragedy that nobody can control (such as natural disasters), people can definitely experience over-saturation. This reality is augmented by the rising prevalence and usage of social media. People have a right to express their views about any issue that is troubling the collective human condition.</p><p>However, productively channeling the energies, thoughts, and emotions brought upon by "vicarious trauma" is essential. Writers can do this by producing and distributing content that raises awareness and offers steps toward healing. Celebrities with money and influence can organize independent relief efforts to console distraught families. Leaders and members of the clergy have various options for a role to play as well.</p><p>The bottom line is that everyone must make a difference; no matter how big or small.</p></div></div></section></div><section style="margin-top:-1em;" data-reactid="85"><div class="container_wau94v-o_O-gutter_hkb0fn-o_O-medium_t9xjph" data-reactid="86"><a class="tag_1c78pvw" href="/tag/humanity" data-reactid="87">humanity</a></div></section><footer class="footer_z6qa17" data-reactid="88"><div class="container_1u9w7u6-o_O-medium_t9xjph-o_O-gutter_1ixr1j0" data-reactid="89"><!-- react-empty: 90 --><!-- react-empty: 91 --><div class="buttons_1phmuba" data-reactid="92"><button class="button_luglz8-o_O-service__twitter_1bp5mow" target="_blank" data-reactid="93"><i class="ion-social-twitter button__icon_mhj5z5" data-reactid="94"></i><span class="button__text_1fsenqq" data-reactid="95">Tweet</span></button><button class="button_luglz8-o_O-service__facebook_75f5jx" target="_blank" data-reactid="96"><i class="ion-social-facebook button__icon_mhj5z5" data-reactid="97"></i><span class="button__text_1fsenqq" data-reactid="98">Share</span></button></div><div class="author_poyjc" data-reactid="99"><a class="author__image_qa6h89" href="/authors/victor-trammell" data-reactid="100"><img alt="Victor Trammell" class="author__imageSource_vqqios" height="64" width="64" src="https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_face,h_64,q_auto,w_64/jgeonhjy8qlsdoykb55w" data-reactid="101"/></a><div class="author__text_2r5qf" data-reactid="102"><a class="author__name_14vya98" href="/authors/victor-trammell" data-reactid="103">Victor Trammell</a><p class="author__bio_ima45h" data-reactid="104"><p>In July of 2012, my career as a published author, copywriter, editor, and journalist began at YourBlackWorld.net. 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It sucks. Plain and simple. There&#x27;s nothing romantic about it; there&#x27;s nothing beautiful to portray and remotely positive to romanticize and mull over. 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a college student struggling through the average, every day hardships of life.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","urlPath":"\u002Fauthors\u002Fjune-o","image":{"public_id":"qudvoxhvxa7hylyizm0m","version":1514966190,"signature":"5aedcb093ae4e7c4bced27cf430ad84a53cd3595","width":705,"height":564,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1514966190\u002Fqudvoxhvxa7hylyizm0m.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1514966190\u002Fqudvoxhvxa7hylyizm0m.jpg"}},"content":"\u003Cp\u003EI hate having depression. It sucks. Plain and simple. There's nothing romantic about it; there's nothing beautiful to portray and remotely positive to romanticize and mull over. It's just a toxic cocktail of constant exhaustion, self-deprecation, doubt, and lack of drive. The lack of control over your own body, your own \u003Ci\u003Ebrain, \u003C\u002Fi\u003Eit's enough to drive you mad.&nbsp;Without meaning to, you catch yourself staring into empty space. Your mind is constantly wandering to darker, more pressing matters and memories. A once happy thought has now progressed into something far more menacing, your brain having over analyzed and picked apart the entirety of it until you're left with nothing but the sad, anxiety-ridden aspects.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EWhy me?\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EIt's a question that's constantly at the forefront of my mind: what would my life have been like if I didn't have depression? Would would my life had been like if I was just \u003Ci\u003Ehappy?\u003C\u002Fi\u003E&nbsp;Would I be more successful? Would I live with less regret? Would my grades be higher? Would I actually feel well rested for once? Would I be able to focus on the possible good outcomes for once rather than dwelling on all of the negative possibilities? Would I be able to have just a little bit of faith in myself just this once? W\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003Eould my mind not constantly hunt for reasons to make me sad?&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fspan\u003E\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003EWould I not contemplate not existing for just \u003C\u002Fspan\u003E\u003Ci style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003Eone\u003C\u002Fi\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003E day?&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fspan\u003E\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EEvery obstacle that's thrown at me in life seems monumental. Small bumps in the road seem like sky scrapers, one negative comment leads to an onslaught of others that my own mind will badger me with for what seems like an eternity, and seemingly simple tasks are now far too large to mentally\u002Fphysically handle without wanting to implode.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EStill, I press onward. Every step feels sluggish, slow, as if my feet have been buried in molasses, but I continue. My joints ache far too often, and most days getting out of bed seems like an immeasurable task, but I try to tell myself that it's all in my head. I just need to keep myself busy, keep myself moving.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EIt's hard to when it feels like your brain is disintegrating though, your body decaying, and you've convinced yourself that you're entirely alone and people only see\u002Fspeak to you because they feel bad. It's hard to tell yourself that it's just a chemical imbalance in your brain; this isn't actually the \u003Ci\u003Ereal\u003C\u002Fi\u003E you. But how saddening is it to know that you may never even see the real you, or reach your full potential because of your own fucking brain?\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EDepression is a fucking bitch.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","name":"Depression: It's a Bitch","mediaType":"image","publishedAt":"2018-01-06T16:32:34.000Z","videoData":{"exists":false,"type":null,"title":null,"url":null,"width":null,"height":null,"version":null,"description":null,"html":null,"authorName":null,"authorUrl":null,"providerName":null,"providerUrl":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"thumbnailWidth":null,"thumbnailHeight":null},"image":{"public_id":"fx2ec9t1qtmvbpledate","version":1515212934,"signature":"f376d8a82389e16229f596c9ff7159a0db9f517f","width":564,"height":699,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515212934\u002Ffx2ec9t1qtmvbpledate.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515212934\u002Ffx2ec9t1qtmvbpledate.jpg"},"summary":"I hate having depression. It sucks. Plain and simple. There's nothing romantic about it; there's nothing beautiful to portray and remotely positive to romanticize and mull over. It's just a toxic cock...","id":"5a4c8fa45131110e68da2935","urlPath":"\u002Fdepression-it-s-a-bitch"},{"key":"down-the-rabbit-hole-3","author":{"key":"kittie-kat","name":{"first":"Kittie","last":"Kat"},"bio":"\u003Cp\u003EI write about things I experience or have experienced, in hopes of helping someone through the hard times in life.. most often late at night.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","urlPath":"\u002Fauthors\u002Fkittie-kat"},"content":"\u003Cdiv\u003EBefore we begin, let me tell you that this was written in a blog post format, and this was also written not in the intent to encourage the action in the blog post. But in order to vent some feelings from a FICTIONAL character. Depression is a very serious subject, and the things talked about in this post are serious. Please, do not take it lightly. Now, let's begin with the story of how one girl discovered something she thought was going to help her, but leads her down a dark, dark rabbit hole.\u003Cbr\u003E\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fdiv\u003E\u003Cp\u003E03:49\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EAll of a sudden I couldn’t breathe, it felt like someone… or something… had pulled me into a very, very deep lake. It was cold and dark, I couldn’t see anything. I tried to scream and yell. But nothing came out, but water and lots of it. I can feel it filling up my lungs, and fast. So, this is what it’s like to drown. This is what it’s like to be completely powerless to the forces around me... Powerless to the thing holding me at the bottom. I felt my brain finally start to shut down, as my eyes became extremely droopy, and my body completely limp. I was giving up, giving up my life here on this hell hole we call earth. \u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EBang bang bang. I jump up out of bed, looking around my room. I came to the realization that it was all just a dream. But was it bad that I hoped it wasn’t? When I crawled into my bed last night, I prayed (to whatever the hell is up there) to not wake up. Unfortunately, my reality was far, far worse than the nightmares. I mean, at least in my nightmares I died at the end.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EAs I rolled out of bed I looked around my room for any signs as to what the banging was. I quickly looked at my clock, it wasn’t even 3. My stomach’s killing me, I haven’t eaten in days. You can thank my “mother” for that. She’s the one that put the damn lock on my door, to lock me in. Lock me into what though? Into my own hell? She’s invaded my privacy, she’s locked me in. She’s taken away everything that would make me… well... me. Sometimes I blame her for everything. I blame her for the assault, for the hate, for the personal hell. I blame her for Ana, but I know it’s all bullshit. She’s made sure that I know that the only person who can affect my brain and attitude is myself. I did this to myself. But I know I deserve it.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E    It’s at this point, I can feel the tears starting. I can feel the sting in my heart, I can feel the hatred for myself start in my chest. And start to travel into my bones, and I can’t stop this fucking shaking. It’s like I’ve been locked outside in 30 degree weather, and  I feel like someone punched me in my chest, wait, no, that would probably be less painful. My lungs have forgotten how to work, and all I can do is sit here gasping for air; just like in my dream. But at this moment, it’s real. I can feel the tears, I can feel the loneliness welling up in me. Suddenly, I wish it wasn’t. I wish there was a way I could stop it all, a way to make the pain go away. I can’t do this anymore, I need some way to get out. I need a way to take back control, what she took away. And through tear soaked eyes, I look over and there it is, sitting perfectly still on my nightstand. My savior. My drug. My escape from this horrible reality. Who would’ve thought a piece of metal would mean so much to me? Who would’ve thought that the cheerleader with “the prettiest smile” would be the one to… I can’t even type it. It’s almost like it’s not real. But nowadays it’s hard for me to tell what’s real and what isn’t. \u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EAs I lean over to my nightstand, I can feel my heart start to race with excitement. I can feel my body start to stop shaking, too bad my hands can’t get the message. I picked up the plastic razor and start to tear it to pieces little by little. Cause heaven knows that I’m going to get that single piece no matter what it takes. No. Matter. What. Then, with great relief, it cracks under my pressure and gives in to my desire. For a few minutes, I just here and stare at it. I expected it to be a little bit bigger, a little bit more Tumblr. But here it is, just a little, thin piece of metal. It’s skinnier than a piece of paper, but I can anticipate how amazing it will feel.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI know I deserve this. I know I don’t deserve to even be alive, but for some reason, I’m too scared to die. I just need my body to match my soul. And maybe if I can just cut enough, or hard enough then I’ll actually cut my soul out of my body. Then she can’t hurt me anymore, she won’t have that control over you anymore. But where should I? I don’t want anyone to know that I did this, I don’t want anyone to know how bad it actually is. And I most definitely don’t want her to know she got to me. The most obvious place would be my arm, but wouldn’t that be basic? Wouldn’t that be noticeable? So, what about my thigh? But I have a game tomorrow, I have to wear my skirt. But wait, that means I also have to wear my long-sleeved undershirt. My arm would be perfect, no one would see or notice. It’ll probably be healed by Monday.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI can see the light reflecting off of it as I’m holding it to my warm skin. My hands won’t stop shaking. They can’t stop shaking, I won’t let them. Here we go,  I’m pressing down on the metal, and begin to slice down my arm in a very slow motion. Ouch! It hurts, but also feels just so relieving? The blood starts to form into little beads, and I can’t help but be so fascinated by it; the color is absolutely stunning. My hands, still shaking, go in for another. And another. And another. With each and every new cut, new beads start to form and the shaking slowly stops. Eventually, my hand puts the metal back down on my nightstand. \u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E    Here I am, with blood dripping down off my arm, tears dripping off my face. But I haven’t felt this good in a LONG time. I haven’t felt this relieved in a LONG time. I felt almost… almost alive. As I’m gathering my thoughts around this new, unfamiliar feeling I reach for a blanket to clean up the mess I had created. I figure I’ll just bandage it up in the morning when my “mother” unlocks my door and I can roam the house again. \u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThe first thing I knew I had to do was come on here and write this out. I knew I had to tell everyone, or no one, of this beautiful drug I’ve discovered in a storm of feelings. Who knew that our own blood would be so comforting? Who knew that something so simple as a line on your arm would release so much tension? Well, it’s almost 4 in the morning now. I better try and lay down, and try to get some sleep. \u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EUntil next time,\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EIsabelle\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","mediaType":"image","name":"Down the Rabbit Hole","publishedAt":"2018-01-06T15:52:49.000Z","videoData":{"exists":false,"type":null,"title":null,"url":null,"width":null,"height":null,"version":null,"description":null,"html":null,"authorName":null,"authorUrl":null,"providerName":null,"providerUrl":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"thumbnailWidth":null,"thumbnailHeight":null},"image":{"public_id":"xorhfwautlyrdvuco2vb","version":1515206291,"signature":"3339185afeb3e8ec20e994866bdf718a38841dc2","width":500,"height":380,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515206291\u002Fxorhfwautlyrdvuco2vb.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515206291\u002Fxorhfwautlyrdvuco2vb.jpg"},"summary":"Before we begin, let me tell you that this was written in a blog post format, and this was also written not in the intent to encourage the action in the blog post. But in order to vent some feelings f...","id":"5a503556afb4d23eefc7eb8e","urlPath":"\u002Fdown-the-rabbit-hole-3"},{"key":"my-anxieties-have-anxiety","author":{"key":"erica-hale","name":{"first":"Erica","last":"Hale"},"bio":"\u003Cp\u003EI am 30, live in small town, USA, and am married to a wonderful man. Living life one day at a time.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","urlPath":"\u002Fauthors\u002Ferica-hale","image":{"public_id":"ljqxfwymry9p51dyynzs","version":1512310594,"signature":"2878ce503523c12dedd5bb174fbb593674923829","width":2576,"height":1932,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1512310594\u002Fljqxfwymry9p51dyynzs.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1512310594\u002Fljqxfwymry9p51dyynzs.jpg"}},"content":"\u003Cp\u003EOn any given day, I wake up with half a dozen thoughts, concerns, fears, or ideas running through my head. These thoughts can range from my to-do list for the day to the argument my husband and I had before bed. Some mornings, it is the vague flashes of images from the endless dreams I experienced during the night due to my brain working endlessly to process my emotions and triggers.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003ERegardless, my mind is never at rest. I cannot remember a time when I ever felt truly at peace. There are times, of course, I can remember being less stressed than normal but all it would take was a misspoken word, a look, or nothing at all except my overworked mind to cast me into a state of anxiety again.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI grew up with very few friends and, when I moved to another state in high school, I had even fewer. College was a time of growing and learning about who I was. I began to seek therapy while I was in college, as well as after, and finally learned that it wasn't \"all in my head.\"&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Agoraphobia with Panic Disorder, depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In a nutshell, I suffered from anxious thoughts that stemmed from literally anything, a fear of being in large groups due to the panic attacks I suffered, depression, and flashbacks and anxiety from some traumatic events of my past.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThe criteria listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of Mental Disorders 5 (DSM-5) for GAD are as follows:&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E1. The presence of excessive anxiety and worry about a variety of topics, events, or activities. Worry occurs more often than not for at least 6 months and is clearly excessive. Excessive worry means worrying even when there is nothing wrong or in a manner that is disproportionate to the actual risk. This typically involves spending a high percentage of waking hours worrying about something. The worry may be accompanied by reassurance-seeking from others.\u003Cbr\u003EIn adults, the worry can be about job responsibilities or performance, one’s own health or the health of family members, financial matters, and other everyday, typical life circumstances. Of note, in children, the worry is more likely to be about their abilities or the quality of their performance (for example, in school).\u003Cbr\u003E2. The worry is experienced as very challenging to control. The worry in both adults and children may shift from one topic to another.\u003Cbr\u003E3. The anxiety and worry are associated with at least three of the following physical or cognitive symptoms (In children, only one symptom is necessary for a diagnosis of GAD):\u003Cbr\u003E\u003Cbr\u003E\u003Cul\u003E\u003Cli\u003EEdginess or restlessness\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fli\u003E\u003Cli\u003ETiring easily; more fatigued than usual\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fli\u003E\u003Cli\u003EImpaired concentration or feeling as though the mind goes blank\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fli\u003E\u003Cli\u003EIrritability (which may or may not be observable to others)\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fli\u003E\u003Cli\u003EIncreased muscle aches or soreness\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fli\u003E\u003Cli\u003EDifficulty sleeping (due to trouble falling asleep or staying asleep,&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;restlessness at night, or unsatisfying sleep)\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fli\u003E\u003C\u002Ful\u003E\u003C\u002Fblockquote\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003EMany individuals with GAD also experience symptoms such as sweating, nausea, or diarrhea.\u003C\u002Fspan\u003E\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fp\u003EThe anxiety, worry, or associated symptoms make it hard to carry out day-to-day activities and responsibilities. They may cause problems in relationships, at work, or in other important areas.\u003Cbr\u003EThese symptoms are unrelated to any other medical conditions and cannot be explained by the effect of substances including a prescription medication, alcohol, or recreational drugs.\u003Cbr\u003EThese symptoms are not better explained by a different mental disorder.\u003C\u002Fblockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003EIf any of these symptoms resonate with you, please consider seeking professional counseling. There are a variety of treatment options available that can and will improve your mental health and quality of life.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EAdditionally, there are a variety of self-care techniques I have discovered that have helped me tremendously. Below, I will list five techniques I have discovered that really help me.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Col\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003ELearn to say no.\u003C\u002Fb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003E This one seems pretty self-explanatory, but I found great personal strength and empowerment in learning how to say no to others. Whether that meant letting a phone call or text go unanswered or declining an invitation to go out, I felt like I was in control of my decisions during a time when I felt out of control.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fspan\u003E\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fli\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003EFind a hobby or something you enjoy. \u003C\u002Fb\u003EFind something that makes you happy and gives you a sense of accomplishment. It can be as simple as reading one book a month or beginning an exercise routine. If you set a goal and stick with it, it will empower you and allow you to feel accomplished, strong and successful. If you have suffered trauma, chances are your power of choice was taken away and it is time for you to take it back.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fli\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003ELearn some relaxation techniques.\u003C\u002Fb\u003E&nbsp;Youtube is a great resource for guided relaxation videos. ASMR and guided meditation videos help many people by having soothing music or sounds that allow you to \"drift away\" from whatever is making you nervous or anxious. Additionally, silent meditation or prayer or even taking a walk are good options. One technique I learned is to name five things, either to yourself or someone else, that you can see, smell, touch, or hear. This will help ground you and allow you to focus on something else.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fli\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003ELearn what your triggers are.\u003C\u002Fb\u003E&nbsp;This is so important. Knowing what triggers your anxiety or panic attacks can help you to be prepared in the future. For example, if someone comes up behind me and scares me or grabs me, I will panic and either freeze up, scream, or react violently. Knowing this about myself has helped me to react appropriately and calmly explain to the other person that I do not like that and why.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fli\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003ESeek professional help. \u003C\u002Fb\u003EThere is no shame in seeking professional counseling. It is so difficult, I understand. However, having a neutral third party listen to me was so helpful and allowed me to feel and think freely, so I could work through the issues I was having.\u003C\u002Fli\u003E\u003C\u002Fol\u003E\u003Cp\u003EAnxiety, depression and PTSD do not have to be a prison sentence. You are important. You are worth it. You are powerful. You matter. You are more than the sum of the traumas you have endured. Every day is another step, another choice, and another opportunity to move forward. You deserve to be happy.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","mediaType":"image","name":"My Anxieties Have Anxiety","publishedAt":"2018-01-06T15:15:58.000Z","videoData":{"exists":false,"type":null,"title":null,"url":null,"width":null,"height":null,"version":null,"description":null,"html":null,"authorName":null,"authorUrl":null,"providerName":null,"providerUrl":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"thumbnailWidth":null,"thumbnailHeight":null},"image":{"public_id":"nfacyywoxrzobhzeq7po","version":1515209037,"signature":"0474a95308c3363391193cba6ede17fd30bd80ad","width":1000,"height":500,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515209037\u002Fnfacyywoxrzobhzeq7po.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515209037\u002Fnfacyywoxrzobhzeq7po.jpg"},"summary":"On any given day, I wake up with half a dozen thoughts, concerns, fears, or ideas running through my head. These thoughts can range from my to-do list for the day to the argument my husband and I had ...","id":"5a5032feafb4d23eefc7eb07","urlPath":"\u002Fmy-anxieties-have-anxiety"},{"key":"me-and-my-borderline","author":{"key":"nadine-haigh","name":{"first":"Nadine","last":"Haigh"},"bio":"\u003Cp\u003EI'm 35 and on a mission in my life, not for me but for future generations,to try and stem the need of people for things and replace it with love for people again,to try and show compassion where it is needed and help others like myself\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","urlPath":"\u002Fauthors\u002Fnadine-haigh","image":{"public_id":"y1m0i9gxewkk0hlctkw3","version":1515175240,"signature":"e9879bf5c7d01cafad7e957c229b5e27e11a1354","width":200,"height":200,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515175240\u002Fy1m0i9gxewkk0hlctkw3.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515175240\u002Fy1m0i9gxewkk0hlctkw3.jpg"}},"content":"\u003Cp\u003ENowadays, terms like psycho and depressed are an everyday part of life, just words that get thrown out by people that don't really understand their meaning. They are flippant about words that in the mental health system are terrifying. I am 35 years old, I am a mother to five kids and have a chronic illness, I am married and I have borderline personality disorder (BPD).&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI was diagnosed many years ago, 22 to be precise, with depression and anxiety and I spent years trying to understand why my brain didn't work like everyone else's. Probably too long if i'm honest, I was unable to be in a happy relationship and as a result I struggled with feelings of self worth, I mean let's face it they say no one is unlovable but I can say hand on heart I thought I was.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EEveryday gives rise to a new challenge that your brain puts in place for you, self-doubt, anger, listlessness, fatigue, hatred, back to anger, then finishing with insomnia. I was capable of experiencing 60 different thoughts in a matter of seconds all telling me that I wasn't worth much in the world. No amount of self-help books or counsellors nodding in all the right places are capable of telling you otherwise, until you are able to believe it for yourself. There's a well known saying \"You can never truly love someone until you love yourself.\" I'm sure we have all heard it at some point once or twice, if not more in our lifetimes to date. It is possibly the worst thing you can say to someone with BPD, you then go from questioning why you can't be loved to knowing you never will be and breaking that circle is hard.....hard, not impossible.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI take every day as I can; sometimes I am able to believe that my husband loves me no matter what, other days I want to isolate myself from him so I don't have to worry about his imminent rejection. It never comes. That is the way BPD gets you, it takes that niggling voice in the back of your mind and gives it a neon sign and a megaphone so you can't pretend it isn't there. Fighting every day can become really exhausting and there are times that you really wish you could dash your own brains out on a rock, but the highs you can experience when you conquer a trivial chore without breaking to pieces, outweigh any fear of taking the plunge in the first place. You just have to push yourself as much as you can to keep trying. I have spent long hours researching my mental health so that I can understand it from a clinical point of view and have found that this has really helped me to deal on a personal level, understandably though it isn't the way forward for everyone. I found my way through the dark by educating myself and finding people that have unswerving patience, mostly fellow sufferers, joining communities online and sharing every failure and every victory. I'm a long way from recovery but I am starting to understand the management it takes to live with the demons that haunt me.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003ESelf-harming for me has been a symptom of my illness and something that I bite back everyday to do, the feelings of overwhelming anger or sadness had me reaching for a blade as quickly as a smoker will reach for a cig. These days though, I deal with it differently, as my picture shows. I have learnt to measure when the need to cut gets too much and reach for the phone..for my tattooist, I couldn't tell you how many I have on my upper body but I am just starting on my legs. There's something about the pleasure\u002Fpain with tattoos that is very calming, it can be the difference between making it through the next few weeks or failing them while you are hidden away from the world, mentally and emotionally berating yourself. I hate the stigma that all self-harmers want is attention, it doesn't boil down to attention it boils down to control, the lack of it and the feeling that the only way you will have any is by blood-letting. So, I choose to do it creatively and in the name of art, not in the traditional way but there you go. Not all people have the love and support that they need to cope with this even in progressive countries such as our own, you hear bandied about \"it's all in your head,\" well of course it is! That's why it's called MENTAL health, just because it is in your head though, doesn't mean that it isn't happening, stigmas attached with mental health are still rife and although there are many noteworthy causes that try to raise awareness, there is still plenty more that should be done. I always feel that it would be easier to just try and exist alongside anonymity and hope no one notices that I am struggling, but this year I have decided I no longer care about the whispers in the playground at the schools or the biting, snide comments from my ex about nut-jobs. This year I am going to push and make sure that people like me know that there are people like me in the world rooting for them as much as I am, myself. In all honesty writing this is giving me a platform to start from and hopefully make a difference even if it is just for one person.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","mediaType":"image","name":"Me and My Borderline","publishedAt":"2018-01-05T19:32:18.000Z","videoData":{"exists":false,"type":null,"title":null,"url":null,"width":null,"height":null,"version":null,"description":null,"html":null,"authorName":null,"authorUrl":null,"providerName":null,"providerUrl":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"thumbnailWidth":null,"thumbnailHeight":null},"image":{"public_id":"zjckpdsatheslytlefpt","version":1515178649,"signature":"11e4d1f52c9314cc4812d353f5720c9be4e6db11","width":720,"height":960,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515178649\u002Fzjckpdsatheslytlefpt.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515178649\u002Fzjckpdsatheslytlefpt.jpg"},"summary":"Nowadays, terms like psycho and depressed are an everyday part of life, just words that get thrown out by people that don't really understand their meaning. They are flippant about words that in the m...","id":"5a4fbd6c11a1523ee53fdbe8","urlPath":"\u002Fme-and-my-borderline"},{"key":"suicidal-ideation-1","author":{"key":"chris-alvis","name":{"first":"Chris","last":"Alvis"},"bio":"\u003Cp\u003E26 years old from Houston, TX&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EPartner, Mom, Financial Coach, CBD oil Distributor, and freelance Artist\u002FWriter.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","urlPath":"\u002Fauthors\u002Fchris-alvis","image":{"public_id":"tc6euzyuvn7mrulvxn3y","version":1514424410,"signature":"f74e2ecc9b75bd45594bfc414c7392742d598f77","width":200,"height":200,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1514424410\u002Ftc6euzyuvn7mrulvxn3y.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1514424410\u002Ftc6euzyuvn7mrulvxn3y.jpg"}},"content":"\u003Cp\u003EAlarm goes off, you hate the sound. You sink deeper into the bed. You didn’t even want to go to sleep last night and now you suddenly don’t want to get out.. you roll your eyes at yourself for this and get up. It’s cold, you hate the feeling. You go to the bathroom and turn on the light, it’s shockingly bright and you hate it. You dislike the very act of using the toilet. You hate the sound of the toilet paper and the feel of it against your skin between your legs. You pull up your underwear, it never seems to fit quite right. Then your pants. You turn and flush the toilet. You hate the noise. You hate that you don’t know where this goes and that piss is mostly ammonia so you probably just killed a fish. You turn on the sink, hating that even going to the bathroom is such a long to do list, you wash your hands and rinse. Turn off the sink and get a towel to dry your hands, they can never seem to get all the way dry before it’s uncomfortable you’ve been attempting long enough.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003ETo the closet, none of your clothes seem to suit you in quite the way you’d like. Every individual item in the closet is desirable, but none of them seem to form a complete outfit. Not one you feel like anyway. You hate that you have to do all of these things everyday. You laugh, audibly, really loud.. because you’re not even doing anything difficult for a normal human being and you know that. Realizing you’re not making up your mind, you decide not to waste time and start on your hair, teeth, etc., while you try to decide what to wear. You hate how small in circumference toothbrushes are. You hate the taste of toothpaste and the foamy feeling in your mouth. You wonder what the point is.. ideally, you wouldn’t live long enough to even live with the consequences of not brushing (this is why you often skip this entirely, but today you have a meeting). Brushing your teeth makes you cringe and gag. You rinse your mouth out immediately. You hate water on your face, you wipe it off. You avoid eye contact with yourself in the mirror because you never recognize yourself.. it’s a stranger in there. You feel absolutely no connection to that person. Not love nor hate, simply empty.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EYou get dressed but it takes three or four tries to get it right and you’re still not 100 percent satisfied with it. The clothes you didn’t wear are still on the floor and will piss you off later. You’re still pulling and squirming in your clothes.. constantly, mildly uncomfortable.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThe whole time you’re doing your makeup you’re wondering why everyone made this the norm for women.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EYou make a coffee, quadruple check that you have everything you need. Feed the cat. Lock up and go.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EApproaching your vehicle, you unlock it. It’s not nice but it’s not bad at all either. Not the color you would have picked, the tire pressure light is always on even though your tires have the correct PSI according to the manual.. you head to work and chainsmoke cigarettes the whole way there. Traffic is built up, there are many homeless people as you go through the city. You hate the way the world works. You want to know what it’d be like to drive off a bridge but you don’t want to ruin someone else’s day. You pass run down places and luxurious stores and spas. You suddenly want to explore or try something new but that small burst of joy is ruined by the price or the date of the event or because it’s just not the logical thing to do. You can’t travel if you can’t afford to miss work. Work.. you’re almost there and you haven’t rehearsed the presentation for the meeting. Light another cigarette. You’re still a few minuets away so you go through it real quick in your head.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003ETake your last drag and pull into the parking lot. Turn your music down.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003ESpray down with perfume. Apply hand sanitizer. It stings cause you’ve bitten your nails down to the quick over the last few days.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EYou arrive and you smile for the first time that day. Immediately, you’re uncomfortable with this but you feel the emptiness in your stomach flip like a pancake. Your game face is on and no one ever knows how much you hate the very act of living. Every minor inconvenience makes you immediately wish you could simply check “Opt Out” on a form for life itself as a concept. You hate waking up everyday, hate going to sleep. You hate how light bulbs burn out, how you need an occasional haircut. All the things you enjoy you can’t enjoy fully.. like you’re a dancer who can’t choreograph.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EYou take a deep breath and totally nail your presentation.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003ENo one knows.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","mediaType":"image","name":"Suicidal Ideation ","publishedAt":"2018-01-05T18:32:32.000Z","videoData":{"exists":false,"type":null,"title":null,"url":null,"width":null,"height":null,"version":null,"description":null,"html":null,"authorName":null,"authorUrl":null,"providerName":null,"providerUrl":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"thumbnailWidth":null,"thumbnailHeight":null},"image":{"public_id":"lze3qm1v4zjilidr6moy","version":1515174361,"signature":"6e5d04a6a1233973842cc8eda5ce919f1e44694a","width":640,"height":640,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515174361\u002Flze3qm1v4zjilidr6moy.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515174361\u002Flze3qm1v4zjilidr6moy.jpg"},"summary":"Alarm goes off, you hate the sound. You sink deeper into the bed. You didn’t even want to go to sleep last night and now you suddenly don’t want to get out.. you roll your eyes at yourself for this an...","id":"5a4f7c4e11a1523ee53fcd53","urlPath":"\u002Fsuicidal-ideation-1"},{"key":"an-open-letter-to-my-abuser-1","author":{"key":"marissa-dover","name":{"first":"Marissa","last":"Dover"},"bio":"\u003Cp\u003EHello, My name is Marissa. I'm an 18-year-old who loves to write. It's one of the few things that calms me down. Although I am in college for Business, I would like to share my knowledge and experiences with as many people as possible.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","urlPath":"\u002Fauthors\u002Fmarissa-dover","image":{"public_id":"tdpda1qjxths5kxwppkg","version":1514676880,"signature":"28226719969ec74c50f87e8f811d9addaf7abe86","width":539,"height":960,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1514676880\u002Ftdpda1qjxths5kxwppkg.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1514676880\u002Ftdpda1qjxths5kxwppkg.jpg"}},"content":"\u003Cp\u003EI'm scared. I'm scared of being happy, I'm scared of opening my mouth, I'm scared of crying, and most of all, I'm scared of you.&nbsp;\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003EI love you, but all you do is hurt me. Even when you don't mean too, it's like I don't matter anymore. I can't understand why.\u003C\u002Fspan\u003E\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EPlease, tell me why. I beg of you. Did I do something? Was I never good enough? Do I remind you of her? My mother. I know she has hurt you, but have I? You say I'm just like her which hurts more than anything. I'm just like a \"woman\" who abandoned her kids and made sure they felt worthless? How does that work? I know you hate her, but why do you hate me? I'm trying. I'm trying to help you, but you won't let me.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EYou're the only family I have left. Despite everything, I would hate to see you go. I almost lost you once. I can't go through that again. I'm scared of being alone. You have made me feel like I deserve this. Like it's all my fault. I couldn't bear to lose you and have to blame myself for the rest of my life.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI mentally and physically can't take this anymore. My scars on the outside have healed, but what about those on the inside? They're still open wounds. Day by day, they get more in-depth. The pain gets harder to handle. Crying won't help anymore.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI know this isn't you. Your addiction has changed you, but what do you expect me to do? You tell me to get over it, but how? Even if I wanted too, I'm still forced to deal with your nonsense. It's been ten years. Enough is enough. Please listen to me.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EStop making this about you. You blame me for all of your problems. You can't own up to anything you say or do without putting part of the blame on someone else. I have cried immensely in front of you. I have tried to get you to understand, but you aren't willing to listen.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EYou let your embarrassment prevent you from standing up. You contradict every single thing you say. You get angry when I talk about my depression, my anxiety, et cetera. You make me feel sorry for having problems. You can't even deal with your own. You judge me for being human. Why? You're no better.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EYou act like you're the greatest thing to ever happen to me. You had your moments, and I appreciate it, but you have put me through so much. I'm exhausted. I'm afraid to tell you how I feel because I don't want to be the one who gets blamed for my feelings. You know it's not my fault.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI see you as two separate individuals. My father, and a monster. My father would never treat me this way, but you? You have no shame, no compassion, and no respect towards the only person in your life still willing to help you. Do you think I have to do this? Do you think I have to stay? No. I do it because I care. I know what it's like to feel worthless. Like I'm impossible to love. I could never treat someone the same way you treat me. I'm just trying to understand why you think it's okay.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EYou say \"I'm sorry,\" and sometimes you can't even do that. Are you afraid of losing your pride? You already have. At this point, I think you only say it to shut me up. I can't tell anymore. I've heard it so many times that now it's unbelievable. I need you to see my pain.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EYou walk by my room, and I feel like I have to be quiet. I'm afraid you're going to hear me. I cry in solitude. I hide my panic attacks. I don't tell you about my nightmares. What's the point in doing this any other way? I'm deathly afraid of opening up to you because every time I do you kick me down further than I was before.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EIn your eyes, I'm weak. You're right. I'm tired. I wish I could sleep all of my pain away. I'm the happiest when I'm dreaming. I wake up and want to cry because I know the day won't be easy. Whether we argue or not, the damage has already been done.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry I was never good enough for you or my mother. I think about what I could have done differently. Maybe if I did better in school. Perhaps if I had been less annoying. So many \"Maybe's.\" I don't know what to do with them all.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI want things to improve, but at what point do I have to give up? I can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I'm sorry, but I don't know what more I can do. I'm mentally drained. I couldn't get much more depressed than this. How do you not see that?\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EI'm slowly ebbing right before your eyes. I don't know how much more I can take. I need help. I'm not okay, and I hope that one day you see that before it's too late.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","mediaType":"image","name":"An Open Letter to My Abuser ","publishedAt":"2018-01-05T18:02:54.000Z","videoData":{"exists":false,"type":null,"title":null,"url":null,"width":null,"height":null,"version":null,"description":null,"html":null,"authorName":null,"authorUrl":null,"providerName":null,"providerUrl":null,"thumbnailUrl":null,"thumbnailWidth":null,"thumbnailHeight":null},"image":{"public_id":"hzt9b380wz0jrnbg4uco","version":1515142777,"signature":"5b623a244d07abde37234d8892a28f040660a280","width":1000,"height":717,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515142777\u002Fhzt9b380wz0jrnbg4uco.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1515142777\u002Fhzt9b380wz0jrnbg4uco.jpg"},"summary":"I'm scared. I'm scared of being happy, I'm scared of opening my mouth, I'm scared of crying, and most of all, I'm scared of you. I love you, but all you do is hurt me. Even when you don't mean too, it...","id":"5a4f3c83afb4d23eefc7b46c","urlPath":"\u002Fan-open-letter-to-my-abuser-1"}],"latest":{},"post":{"updatedAt":"2017-08-30T20:50:34.823Z","createdAt":"2017-08-30T15:12:18.589Z","key":"the-hidden-horrors-of-hurricane-harvey","ogDescription":"How Natural Disasters and Depictions of Human Suffering Psychologically Impacts People Not Directly Affected","seoDescription":"How Natural Disasters and Depictions of Human Suffering Psychologically Impacts People Not Directly Affected","author":{"id":"59836cfc149cbb7b06af41e3","name":{"first":"Victor","last":"Trammell"},"bio":"\u003Cp\u003EIn July of 2012, my career as a published author, copywriter, editor, and journalist began at YourBlackWorld.net. In my current role, I work on the writing\u002Fproduction team for The Michael Baisden Show, a nationally syndicated radio program.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","fullname":"Victor Trammell","key":"victor-trammell","image":{"public_id":"jgeonhjy8qlsdoykb55w","version":1501785927,"signature":"15683097c37a85186de643a7da2189d9f9d5294f","width":393,"height":393,"format":"jpg","resource_type":"image","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1501785927\u002Fjgeonhjy8qlsdoykb55w.jpg","secure_url":"https:\u002F\u002Fres.cloudinary.com\u002Fjerrick\u002Fimage\u002Fupload\u002Fv1501785927\u002Fjgeonhjy8qlsdoykb55w.jpg"},"urlPath":"\u002Fauthors\u002Fvictor-trammell","isStripeAuthorized":true},"mediaType":"image","content":"\u003Cp\u003EOver the past several days, America's vast collective of national media sources have bombarded the viewing public with an overwhelming volume of reports about the travesties currently going on in Southeast Texas.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EWhen Hurricane Harvey (Category 4) reached the U.S. mainland around August 26, 2017, the storm was producing punishing winds, which were clocked at a strength of 130 mph. According to the National Weather Service, Harvey's&nbsp;atmospheric pressure was also calculated to be 938 millibars. Once the hurricane's status was demoted to a tropical storm, Southeast Texas was pounded with torrential rainfall totals.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThis caused massive flooding, which created an emergency situation in cities all along the Texas Gulf Coast, including Houston, Beaumont, Rockport, and San Augustine. Homes were ruined and residents had to leave their personal belongings behind in order to survive. Power was knocked out and people had no access to public utilities. Estimates of financial damage have reached as high as $160 billion dollars.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EDisaster relief experts have said that like Hurricane Katrina, rebuilding and stabilization efforts undertaken after Harvey could take many years. Katrina was the name given to the devastating August 2005 hurricane that destroyed a number of Louisiana's Gulf Coast cities, including New Orleans. However, the human toll of any natural disaster is obviously the worst adversity. Humans are only granted one life.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EApproximately 20 people have died from the wrath of Hurricane Harvey since it invaded the U.S. mainland. One of those deaths was reported by the Associated Press on August 30, 2017. In the absolutely heartbreaking literary newsreel, an 18-month-old girl was reportedly found in Beaumont, Texas cold, trembling, and clinging in bewilderment to her dying mother who drowned in a flooded parking lot near an exit off U.S. Interstate 10.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003ECaptain Brad Penisson of the Beaumont Fire and Rescue Department told the Associated Press that a witness at the scene recalled seeing the mother alive on Tuesday afternoon (August 29th). The mother retrieved her daughter from the vehicle she was driving and attempted to get to higher ground away from the flooded parking lot. However, the strong current of a flooded drainage canal whisked the mother and her tiny daughter away.\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThe helpless tot was seen hanging on to her lifeless, floating mother when police and fire rescue workers approached her in a boat. The girl was picked up and held as first responders&nbsp;on the boat attempted to revive the mother. The boat then sailed safely to higher ground where resuscitation efforts on the mother continued. Attempts to save her life had failed and the mother was soon pronounced dead.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThe terrified 18-month-old girl survived and was transported to a local hospital where her condition was stabilized. This innocent little girl's life will never be the same. Stories like this invoke feelings of despair for other people who have been directly affected by the horrors of Hurricane Harvey. However, can people who live hundreds or thousands of miles away also become severely traumatized by the realities of any tragedy?\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EAfter the fatal June 2016 nightclub shooting that left dozens dead in Orlando, Florida, \u003Ca href=\"http:\u002F\u002Fwww.cnn.com\u002Fprofiles\u002Faj-willingham-profile\"\u003EAJ Willingham\u003C\u002Fa\u003E, a columnist for\u003Ca href=\"http:\u002F\u002Fcnnpressroom.blogs.cnn.com\u002Fcategory\u002Fcnn-digital-content\u002Fcnn-digital\u002F\"\u003E CNN Digital \u003C\u002Fa\u003Ewrote an article titled&nbsp;\u003Ci\u003E\u003C\u002Fi\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\u002F\u002Fwww.cnn.com\u002F2016\u002F07\u002F20\u002Fhealth\u002Fhow-to-deal-with-traumatic-news-trnd\u002Findex.html\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EWhen Bad News Gets to be&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fi\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EToo Much\u003C\u002Fi\u003E\u003C\u002Fspan\u003E\u003C\u002Fa\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003E. In her sobering report, Willingham wrote about the interviewee opinions that were shared with her, which came from noted psychology professionals, such as&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fspan\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003EDr. Pam Ramsden, a lecturer at the University of Bradford in the UK.\u003C\u002Fspan\u003E\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\"This constant churn of harrowing news is physically and psychologically unhealthy, and you don't need to be directly involved in a tragedy to feel its effects,\" Willingham wrote.&nbsp;\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\"To the concerned viewer, this pain can feel unavoidable or even necessary. It might be a little bit of both. The truth is, in an age of unfettered access to the worst of humanity, we have to act as our own gatekeepers if we want to stay sane,\" she continued. Willingham describes the feelings people experience after witnessing tragic scenarios that do not directly affect them as \"vicarious trauma.\"\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: 0.01em;\"\u003E\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fspan\u003E\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003ESeeking professional help after experiencing such trauma is a legitimate option. However, the overwhelmingly negative stigma attached to mental illness often keeps people from dealing reasonably with life situations that wreak havoc on their psychological stability. \"With some of these individuals requiring professional help, I doubt they will get it,\" Dr. Ramsden told CNN.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\"Because how do you go to a mental health provider and tell them that YouTube videos have left you traumatized so that you can't sleep and have nightmares?\" she continued.\u003Cbr\u003E\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EIn a new and emerging world of information overload, man-made despair, and tragedy that nobody can control (such as natural disasters), people can definitely experience over-saturation. This reality is augmented by the rising prevalence and usage of social media. People have a right to express their views about any issue that is troubling the collective human condition.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EHowever, productively channeling the energies, thoughts, and emotions brought upon by \"vicarious trauma\" is essential. Writers can do this by producing and distributing content that raises awareness and offers steps toward healing. Celebrities with money and influence can organize independent relief efforts to console distraught families. Leaders and members of the clergy have various options for a role to play as well.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThe bottom line is that everyone must make a difference; no matter how big or small.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","imageCaption":"\u003Cp\u003EPhoto credits: Kevin King | The Examiner of Southeast Texas\u003C\u002Fp\u003E","name":"The Hidden Horrors of Hurricane Harvey","ogTitle":"The Hidden Horrors of Hurricane Harvey","seoKeywords":"the, hidden, horrors, of, hurricane, harvey","seoTitle":"The Hidden Horrors of Hurricane Harvey","vocalSite":{"_id":"59945919a78d5a13562f6259","updatedBy":"57b6a79b1615281672d4c9ee","updatedAt":"2017-10-30T17:07:27.848Z","createdBy":"57b6a79b1615281672d4c9ed","createdAt":"2017-08-16T14:39:24.009Z","key":"psyche","emailAddress":"health@vocal.media","name":"Psyche","__v":6,"about":"An open conversation about mental health; stories, experiences, advice, real life. 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